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After reading about how much emphasis is put into women’s appearances, I started thinking about when I started caring so much about my body weight. I was a sophmore in high school, and I was 15 years old when I started thinking I was not thin enough and that I needed to lose weight. How this got started was, I was walking through the hallway with some friends and there were these other girls who were juniors and they weren’t getting over in the hallway, then one of them called me a “fat bitch.” The funny thing about that this girl was a good amount bigger than me and I was probably a normal healthy size, I had never been callen fat before, so this really had got me thinking that I was and really made me feel bad about myself. My friends were trying to talk me out of the fact that I was fat by telling me I’m a good size to be and that that girl was even bigger than me, I just could not stop thinking about it though. I remember working out alot, and starting a diet where I would eat one small portion a day, for example I would only eat 1 cereal bar, and that was it for the entire day. Well, I didn’t realize the dangers of the situation I was putting myself in until having health class, and it made me realize that I should probably be taking better measures. Luckily I realized this almost right when I started trying to diet and work out. I started giving myself a limit to the calories I ate, which was only about 1,000 a day. I didn’t allow myself to snack or anything.
Once the weight started melting off me, it was like I became obbsessed with losing weight. I worked out everyday and started weighing myself everyday, and if I was over a certain weight, I wouldn’t eat at all that day. I started not caring if I was being healthy or not. I remember my grandparents making comments about not getting too thin, and I was almost to that point but not extreme, I got down to about 110 pounds, and I was 5’4″ tall. I know some people say that is within the range a person of that height should be, but it was close to being too thin, not that my rib cage was showing or anything, but I was getting there I guess you could say.
After a long time of getting over my weight issue problems, I started gaining weight back and I was ever so slowly with becoming ok with it. It was really hard to stop going down the path I was going, I forced myself not to step on the scale, and now I hate getting on one, I’m too afraid to see what I weigh. I’m deffinately not that thin anymore, and I would say the weight I am at now is where I should be, but I just don’t want to know how much I am. It is sometimes still hard when thinking about it, but I try not to. I just am so happy that I never got in too deep, and had to go to rehab or anything, I basically somehow fixed my problem on my own. I’m not really dieting, but I do try to eat healthy. I went vegetarian about a year and 7 & 1/2 months ago and I love it. I just feel more refreshed and healthy.
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